Two Weeks Notice? HELL NO!

Two Weeks Notice ? HELL NO!! 

Tom-nardone-two-weeks-notice-1-free-clipartWe have all heard of the two weeks notice. There is an idea in this country that when you decide to leave a job, “The right thing to do” is to notify your current employer with a two weeks notice in advance. Of course we all understand that you are vital to your company’s future. If you were you to leave suddenly, things would be difficult for them. How difficult would they be? Imagine…. if you were to leave your job.Tom-nardone-two-weeks-notice-2-free-clipart

Do this for me. Close your eyes…wait, wait, wait. Don’t close your eyes. I forgot you were reading. Just ask yourself which of the following two scenarios sound the most reasonable, and be honest, I would ask that you take this seriously.

Dissatisfied with your current job, you have finally found another one. They needed you to start immediately. Realizing that you cannot give a two weeks notice, you enter your current boss’s office and tell him you are leaving.

Upon your letting your employer know you are leaving, a chaotic whirlwind, capable of ripping your companies heart and soul begins. It takes over and aims to destroy the very spirit of their core values. Black clouds roll in with no regard for the tears being shed by every member of the board of directors. This ungodly terror rips in, and pierces the very walls of the cooperate fat cat’s’ over-furnished, cigar smelling offices. They tremble  in the wake of a colossal Shit-storm.  No amount of money, no attorney, and no sacrifice; blood or otherwise, can appease the cooperate gods or satisfy their hunger. Everyone (except you) will go swirling down a financial vortex of whatever might be left of what was once a mighty corporate powerhouse.

Inevitably, this company, in the span of 24 hours, has perished. Hopes are gone. Dreams are lost. A staple in our economy is dead.


but don’t you worry. You’re gonna be OK.

You could have prevented this, yes you could have saved everyone. You could have circumvented all this suffering. You neglected to do the only thing that could have saved this multi-million dollar corporation, and you withheld it. My my my, you could have given a two weeks notice. I hope you remember this one day on your way to HELL!!!!!

orthe Two weeks notice scenario

You enter your boss’s office and tell him you are leaving, and less than a week later, The company you once believed only floated as a result of your efforts is doing just fine without you.  It would be just as if you were never there. You will be a memory, and nothing more.

Tom-nardone-two-weeks-notice-6-free-clipartI know a lot of you would like to think that option A best describes your situation. Maybe it does, but I don’t believe most of us can make that claim.

Leaving a two weeks notice is all well and good for them. Doing that does not seem to serve me in any way, and of course in the end, it is all about me, and it’s all about you.

I have quit a lot of jobs. Some jobs I have left two weeks notice and some I have not. If I am not needed right away I am happy to leave a two weeks notice. If I am needed right away, then my current employer can go hump a stump.

I have also been fired from a lot of jobs. I don’t understand why the employees of America are held to a higher standard of ethics than that of “Corporate America”. In all the times that I have been fired no one ever came over and said “Hey Tom there is not a problem here today, but two weeks from today,  you can consider yourself shit-canned.”

No. It never did happen that way. It was always one of two ways;

It was either “Hey Tom, listen man, I am sorry to tell you this, but we have not been getting as many orders as we counted on so we just aren’t going to be able to keep you on the payroll. I really am sorry. You did a good job and we will call you if we need you back, but we have to let you go.”or they would just say  “TOM, GET YOUR SHIT, AND GET THE F%#@ OUT OF MY BUILDING! RIGHT NOW YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!!!!”  (true story)

When you get fired you have no income, no insurance, no security, no peace of mind, and no idea what you are going to do. And men, you know this if you weren’t already thinking it. You are not getting laid either. Just forget about that. Your wife is going to do nothing but talk and ask questions every waking moment of every day until you get shit back in order.(apparently that is our duty)

What I am saying is if you can leave a two weeks notice, and you want to leave a two weeks notice, do it. If you don’t want to leave a two weeks notice, than you should feel free to leave them high and dry, the same way, they would leave you, and have left me. If you feel guilty then justify it on my behalf. You look them right in the eye and you say. “I quit damn it and you can consider my departure on equal footing with the middle finger of Tom Nardone, sticking in you face.” Feel free to use me to appease your guilty conscience.

Maybe a compromise is best. Call them on the phone and say ”Hello this is Tom Nardone. I’m calling to leave you my two weeks notice.

Yah, I want you to Notice that even though you keep putting my name on the schedule, I won’t be coming in to work.”

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.

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