I am Tom Nardone, and I am ADD

Screw the PTA. Worry About Your Child

Picture11

By Tom Nardone

I have spoken to a lot of parents, who have children with ADD. They all have at least one thing in common; they all care about their children. I categorize them into two groups; those that medicate, and those who do not medicate. I fully agree with those who medicate, and I understand the skepticism for those that don’t.

I am Tom Nardone. When I was growing up I can remember back to some of the things that were done or said to me as a result of being ADD. I had a real hard time understanding simple instructions, because I could not quiet my own mind long enough to listen when they were given.

To this day, the greatest man I have ever known was my father. I remember some of the things he used to say to me; “Tommy, I sure am glad my life doesn’t depend on your speed” or “What? You left your homework at home? Did you think that you were having class at our house?” and my personal favorite is when my father would ask why I did not do something that asked me to do, and I would say “I didn’t hear that part” to which he would reply “Yah well Tommy I guess it is difficult to hear when your head is up your ass” I do miss my Dad.

I had a very tough time in school. It was common for me to work on projects for weeks or just do regular homework, only to leave them at home on the day were due. In spite of my studying for hours I did very poorly on tests.

Sometimes the teacher would be talking to the class about the days assignments and my mind would be somewhere else. I can’t tell you how many times I would come out of a daydream, and discover the rest of the class was quietly working, and I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. For most of my years in school I was the kid that everyone else made fun of for being stupid or weird. Sometimes the teachers chimed in, and that was more than I could handle.

I would like to tell you that the problems stopped there. But sadly, they went on to follow me at the many, many, many jobs I quit or got fired from. I don’t mind telling you, and I have said this before. I got fired every way you can think of. From “Hey Tom we are sorry but we just don’t have enough work to keep you on” to “YOU!! PACK YOUR SH#T AND GET THE F@#K OUT OF MY BUILDING” (I will tell you a little something about how it feels to get fired. It gets easier.) It is hard to drive through my town and not pass by two or three places that I have worked before. I thought it was funny at the time. It was however a source of concern for the people who loved me. My ADD also made relationships difficult.

During my former marriage, I had forgotten our anniversary two years in a row. The next year I committed to remember it, and I did. I had a card and gifts I went all out on decorating the house, so when my wife came home she would be surprised. She got home and she was quite surprised since it was not our anniversary that day. She was furious and made me take everything back. To make matters worse a few days later when our actual anniversary came to pass, I did nothing. I thought “Hey I blew it I’ll do better next year” That apparently was also the wrong answer. My point is that, to me that sounded reasonable

For those of you, who are looking for an alternative to medication, there you are. Everything you just read is the alternative to medication. The reason parents put their kids on medication is because it works. Yes we tried lists. We tried charts. We tried a system of rewards, reminder notes, and a lot of other things. None of it helped even a little.

Yes, you can micro-manage your child’s life and maybe you will successfully get them all the way through high school. Someday that kid is going to be on their own. It will be just them and their ADD and you won’t be able to go to work with them. You won’t be there to make a list for them. Then, what will they do. Well, I don’t know what they will do. I only know what you will do. Right or wrong, you will probably blame yourself.

The truth is parents are already giving their kids medication for other things. They don’t question it. They march them down to get a stupid flu shot every year. When their kids are sick and the doctor prescribes some anti-biotic that they can’t even pronounce, there they are in line at the pharmacy. Kids are regularly prescribed prednisone without their mom or dad batting an eye. (You should read the side effects for that). There is Tylenol for kids, Vicks for kids and over 100 different other drugs that parents buy right off the shelf and give their kids and why? Usually it is because they saw a commercial on TV where the kids looked so happy while they took their fun new medicine that has a picture of Sponge Bob on the bottle.

Given all of this, it perplexes me, why a loving parent cannot see their way clear to allow a doctor to prescribe medication for their own child who has been diagnosed with ADD. So their kid has the sniffles and they run right out and buy things they think will make them feel better. Their pediatrician tells them that their child has a stomach virus, they will go hauling ass out to the pharmacy to get that prescription filled. But a doctor tells them their child has ADD, and they simply won’t hear of “Oh NOOOOO!!………. HELL NO!!!……… I love my kids. I won’t be a party to pumping them full of meds!!”

I learned that I was ADHD at the age of 29. A man named Chet Smith who, while firing me, explained that I had ADD. I didn’t know what he was talking about. Later I went and checked up on this. I read a list of the symptoms my eyes were opened, but I had never taken drugs before and I did not want to start.

I was committed to doing this without any drugs, but nothing changed. Years later, it occurred to me the current state of my life might be the alternative to not taking medication. I got a prescription for Adderall and it changed my life, quite dramatically, and quite overnight. I started projects and then, Yah. I finished them. I found things that I was interested in and realized that I was pretty good at them. When I was at work, I focused on my job instead of worrying about how much longer it would be until I could leave. Most of all I was not so irritable all the time. Things in my Life have never been better.

I am married to a woman named Yvonne who I love more than I love myself. I have a step-son named Brett who I have watched grow into a man. I have been at the same job for 14 years. I have a website where I catalog my unique and/or humorous observations and stories that keeps me pretty busy. People read them and enjoy doing so.

I was a child at a time when there was no diagnosis for ADD. I had an incredibly challenging childhood in a world where people who knew me simply wondered why I was the way I was. Strange that I have heard parents say “I got some bad news from my son’s school today. They told me he is ADD.”

When I found out I was ADD, It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I can’t even tell you how wonderful it was to learn that the problems I had been having my whole life were not for the reasons that so many of my peers and teachers told me. I was not stupid. I was not weird, I was Tom Nardone. Today things are pretty good. I am Tom Nardone and I can tell you one thing about being Tom Nardone and that is that it is fun as hell to be Tom Nardone.

Alternatives to medication for ADD, is what a lot of people are searching for. It is what I have lived through for 29 years and I would not wish that on you. Please don’t do it to yourself or your kids.

My life is not perfect today, and it is not without its challenges. I am on top of it though. I am glad I don’t have to do it w/o my medication, and I am glad I don’t have to do it alone

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome

For updates on future articles, please feel free to follow subscribe via email or facebook

Help me. I can only spread so much bullshit by myself.
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Pin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on LinkedInEmail this to someone

ADHD | You Will Find What You Look For.

Tom-Nardone-ADHD-monk

There is much written on ADD/ADHD.  They also almost always address ADHD as a problem, and a problem only. I feel by doing this they are scaring and misinforming their readers.

Many of these articles are written by doctors. Doctors are used to treating problems, so I guess it would stand to reason that they should write about ADHD in that context. There are two types of people who write these articles; Doctors and those with ADHD. I think most people feel better reading something written by a doctor, rather than by someone with ADHD. Because if a doctor said it, then it can’t be wrong. Don’t kid yourself. Believe it or not, sometimes doctors are wrong. They are only human, and while doctor written articles can be informative, and important, they are seldom inspiring. So, as long as you are here, allow me to inspire you.

So, your or loved one is messy and leaves their shit lying around all over the place. People like to quote Albert Einstein who said “A messy desk is a sign of a genius.” Well, I never met Albert Einstein myself. He could have been a giant asshole for all I know. While I may me every bit the asshole that Al was, I speak and write in English so listen-up.

 When you see a beautiful mural painted by an artist, you can respond in two ways. You can marvel at its beauty, OR you can bitch about the mess that was made in the process. I suppose if i had a choice to live in a messy world full of art, or a clean world with no art. My vote is for the mess. You would vote for the mess too.

Oh yes ADHD people daydream. So what about daydreaming? Is it necessarily a bad thing all of a sudden for someone to have an active imagination or a creative mind? When is an appropriate time to come up with kickass ideas? There is no appropriate time. Awesomeness does not indulge anyone’s schedule. It calls when it calls. You can answer the call or you can worry about the petty bullshit you are expected to do.

Daydreaming is often mentioned with kids in school. My question is this: Is it a teachers job to teach the class? of course it is. To simply stand up and read the lesson plan each week as you count down the days until you get to spread your ass out on the couch and get paid all summer might be fun, but is is not teaching. Ask your son or daughter to explain to you, everything they learned in school on a particular day. Perhaps they couldn’t tell you anything about it. HA!, Ask them to tell you about a video game they play. See what takes longer. I’m sure some teachers feel better believing that. The truth is that ADHD people have trouble paying attention to things that are not interesting to them.

Yes, children with ADHD blurt out whatever they might be thinking. I would rather know what is on my kid’s mind, rather than wonder. That beats the absolute shit out of trying to pry information from them. Parents of ADHD kids will truly know who their child is as a result of this. While their outbursts might not be appropriate sometimes, they will always be entertaining. Parents do have to police the actions of their kids as they should. Try embracing their words rather than correcting them for not following the regimented guidelines held in high regard by the rest of the herd . You can either NO your child or you can KNOW your child.

So, your loved one is Hyper-Sensitive. I really fail to see a downside to this. Parents with ADHD kids know better than anyone; some kids are mean little bastards. You should get down on your hands and knees and thank God for your child’s “Over-sensitivity” I spent years in school being picked on. My fellow students seemed to enjoy picking on me more than recess. My entire elementary career was an absolute daily hell. I would rather not ever believe that a child of mine was inflicting that same pain on another child. Why chastise their empathy for others? Is the world not currently a shitty enough place for you?

You have a choice. You can decide that you or your loved one has a problem that will complicate their life. You can constantly remind them that they have some handicap that prevents them from being more than they are. You can continue feeling sorry for them, crying for them, or wishing they were not the way they are, thereby reinforcing the stigma that so many others have drilled into their heads there whole life. You can deny them medication because you are worried about what the other asshole parents will think about your parenting skills.

OR

You could have a backbone, and tell your friends, your piers, your family, or anyone else who believes them less than what they are to just go to hell. You can stand up and be a proud and supportive parent, husband, wife, Mom, or Dad. You can realize,  “The Fleas come with the dog”. If you believe them inferior, they will believe it too.  You can realize that you are fortunate to have someone that will never fall into the cookie cutter mentality the world seems to embrace. You can stand up and be proud to be with some one who is not just another rank-and-file Normal Person. Personally the last thing on earth I ever want to be is normal. I would never teach my child to be so.

You will find what you look for. SO DON’T LOOK FOR A TURD!

I think ADHD People are, in many ways, what others are afraid to be. Some normal people don’t want to change out of their pajamas to go to the store, but they do. Some normal people want to tell other people what they think, or how they feel, but they don’t. They sit there quietly worrying about what others might think. They are afraid to be who they are.

Those of us with ADHD will go down our own path. We will eventually get down life’s highway, but we will stop at many exits where we will create moments, and have adventures, but nothing in life is worth doing, if it must be done alone or in the absence of the people we love and care for. So, your loved one has ADHD. I will give you the best advice that anyone could ever give you, and that is quite simply this.

“Enjoy the ride.”

I am Tom Nardone and You Are Welcome.

tomboy

  • You can join the I Am Tom Nardone Facebook Group by clicking HERE. or ADHDpeople.net Here
  • Or you can enter you email address at the top of this page and click the button that says “BE AWESOME”
  • Or you could risk never hearing from me again and go through life without the benefit of my counsel, but what would be the
  • Twitter @tomnardonehere or @adhdpeople
Help me. I can only spread so much bullshit by myself.
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Pin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on LinkedInEmail this to someone

Time-ADHD, I Love You, but You Are a Whore!

tom-nardone-timeThere is a lot said about “Time” such as; Time waits for no man, Time is money, Time heals all wounds, or Time is on our side. I have a different attitude towards time. Those of us with ADD or ADHD know this all too well. Time is screwing us! CONTINUE READING

 

Help me. I can only spread so much bullshit by myself.
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Pin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on LinkedInEmail this to someone