The Dishwasher | A Useless Chunk of Shit

 

tom-nardone-dishwasher-head

My wife is of the opinion that the dishes need to be washed before they go into the dishwasher. I of course think that is stupid. The dishwasher’s job is to wash the dishes. If the dishwasher is unable to do this then the dishwasher is a useless piece of shit, and it is time to shit-can it,  and replace it with a cabinet so we have more space to store all the pots and pans that never seem to be able to fit into the cabinet the same way twice.(that is such bullshit)

I never take the initiative to run the Dishwasher

My wife always asks me “Hey Tom, Did you run the dishwasher?” LOOK! The damn dishwasher should never be run until it is completely, and absolutely full. Not half full, not almost full, but full full. It costs money to run a dishwasher and as my wife has mentioned before; I am one cheap bastard. I have plenty of things that I enjoy wasting my money on. Running an empty dishwasher is not on the list.dishwasher-tom-nardone

My dishwasher has cost me more than just on the electric bill. 2 Years ago my dishwasher bent be over the kitchen counter and drilled me right in the ass. The assholes at the factory over tightened a screw.  My dishwasher leaked behind the cabinets, and that led to my hardwood floors in the hallway to be destroyed. Luckily, I am Tom Nardone, and I was able to fix the leak, but can you just guess what the bastards at the insurance company told us when we tried to make a claim on our home owners insurance? Yes, and not only was it not covered but they raised our premiums for even attempting to make a claim

I don’t wash my clothes before I throw them in the washer, I don’t cook a turkey before I toss it in the oven, so I don’t think it is too much to expect to not have to wash my dishes before they go into the dishwasher. I am not the only one who believes this. Some friends of mine from Ohio just sent me an article that says it is not necessary, even for health reasons.(click here) (Thank you Mike and Patty) This article won’t make any difference in this house though. My wife won’t care about it. Hell she doesn’t even read any of the shit I write so I will have to just continue to take it in the shorts

Lastly, most people who use dishwashers don’t even need them. If you have kids between the ages of 10 and 18, well, there are your dishwashers. What a great way for them to contribute to the household than to do the dishes by hand. It will teach many values that will serve them as they get older; you know, before they turn 18 and their heads miraculously emerge from their asses and then they know more than you do. I know I know you already make your kids wash the dishes. If you are letting them use the dishwasher then I disagree with that because you know and I know they will load dirty dishes into a dishwasher that already has clean dishes in it because they don’t want to unload it. The way we know that is that it is the same shit we used to pull when it was our job.

I am Tom Nardone and you are welcome.

  • lying-tom-nardone-maipulateYou can join the I Am Tom Nardone Facebook Group by clicking HERE. or ADHDpeople.net Here
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Tom Nardone is My Husband | He is Also ADHD

Guest Writer Yvonne Nardone

yvonne-nardoneTom is the kindest smartest and funniest person I have ever met. Although we constantly disagree we seldom fight. Tom is my Best friend and husband and I’m proud to call him that.[Continue Reading]

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Time-ADHD, I Love You, but You Are a Whore!

tom-nardone-timeThere is a lot said about “Time” such as; Time waits for no man, Time is money, Time heals all wounds, or Time is on our side. I have a different attitude towards time. Those of us with ADD or ADHD know this all too well. Time is screwing us! CONTINUE READING

 

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My Wife is Just Wrong

 My Reasoning is Infallible, I Am Tom Nardone


tom1My wife has a word that she likes to throw around. I get it, and my father-in-Law, George gets it worse than me. The word is “Cheap”. It doesn’t really bother either of us. I just don’t get why certain things are so important to my wife.

OK, I have a man-cave above the garage. It is the place where I go to play with my toys. It is my room. It is my sanctuary. The deal we made when we moved in was I make every single decision about this room and she gets the entire rest of the house. Please, don’t think me generous, I simply don’t give a damn about any other room. One summer we got an electric bill for 280 dollars. I almost went Spartacus, but a couple of hours of crying, and I calmed down and accepted that we would just pay it. The following day I came home with 2 AC window units (one for me, and one for Brett) and shut off the central air. This apparently was a problem because she said it was against some Home Owner Association covenant. Well, we live in the cul-de-sac. So that rule obviously doesn’t apply to us. Yah. You just let them to say one word, I will buy red lights for every outside light we have and light this place up like the “Amityville Horror” house. She raised Hell every day when she got home, saying how awful it looked in the front of our house. She even called her air conditioning guy to see if we were even going to save any money. He said “Not a chance in Hell” Well I am happy to tell you that those 2 window units in the heat of summer run constantly and we pay 100 dollars less than we ever did with the central air. HA!! Game, Set, and Match. Tom Nardone Here.

wuac
One of my other favorite songs on the “Yvonne’s Greatest Hits” album is this one. Over the course of a period of a year my windshield wiper blades were wearing out. I put off getting new ones until one day I was actually looking through a small thin area on my windshield that was the only place I could see out of when it was raining. I stopped on the way home that day and went in to get some wiper blades. Well, I did not want to spend 10 dollars on a pair of windshield wipers. So I bought one single wiper blade. My wife and I were going to the movies the next day. We got ready to leave and she said “Oh!! I don’t want to drive us there. Did you get your wiper blades fixed” I said “Hey! We are good” We got in the car and got on the road and she couldn’t believe what I had done. It was raining very hard and we were doing about 35mph by the time she looked up. She said “Tom I can’t see a thing” I said “Well you have driven this road a thousand times, is there something you wanted to look at?” she said “Damn it Tom! Please tell me that you didn’t drive all the way to Advance Auto, and put yourself out by taking care of your car, and then you get all the way to the register and whimp-out of splurging for 2 windshield wipers” I explained to her how bad it sounded when she says it like that. I told her, ”OK Yvonne, Look! I am driving and I can see fine. I have a perfect wiper blade over here. I am the driver. Therefore I am the only person who needs to see out of this window. The only thing you have to worry about is running out of stuff to yell at me about.” The ride home wasn’t much better.central system.

4311105154_33d6f738baAnd then there is also the gas issue. Back before my wiper blades wore out, my truck was perfect. Yvonne even drove it sometimes. She asked me to put gas in the truck on the way home from work one day because she needed it the next day, so I did. She asked me the next morning, if I remembered to gas up the truck and I told her yes. 3 hours later she got back and said “I thought you put gas in the truck” See the problem was that I only put about 5 dollars in. She thinks that I should fill it up every time. She said “It’s on empty!!! How much did you put it in” I thought she was going to die when I told her 5 dollars. She said (after a long pause) “WHY?” I explained it to her and she didn’t get it. I said “When I am standing at the pump, 1 of 2 things happen. One, I get bored standing there doing nothing waiting on a pump and so I say, good enough and just end it. Or two, sometimes when I am watching the numbers change I come to a realization that those numbers actually represent dollars flowing out of our bank account and that just plain pisses me off.” She bit her bottom lip, regained her composure, and then said very calmly in a very eerie voice, “Tom, where was it you said you need to go this afternoon?” I said “I was going to go to GameStop to pick up a new video game for my Xbox” she said “OH, OK, I was worried you had your priorities screwed up. Have a good time” and then she just left the room, leaving me in the den by myself, alone and, in silence. Now you tell me. “Does my wife not kick total ass or what?” I went out, and got the game and salvaged what could have been a terrible day.

I will stand by the decisions I have made. I am Tom Nardone. I am awesome. I am smarter than the Air Conditioner Guy, and my life is no less abundant as a result of the choices I have made. So bring it on world, what will be the next thing you have that I will not pay for?

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.

  • lying-tom-nardone-maipulateYou can join the I Am Tom Nardone Facebook Group by clicking HERE. or ADHDpeople.net Here
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  • Or you could risk never hearing from me again and go through life without the benefit of my counsel, but what would be the
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America is Debt Free (Or at least as good as)

 

Screw’em all, We are not paying shit!!


People are worried about the national debt. I can understand their fears and I do not wish to make light of them. I would however like to suppress those fears by letting you know that there is nothing to worry about, because we will never have to pay that debt.

Let me first say for the record that I love my country. I am not Anti-American, nor am I a loud flag waving patriot. While there are a lot of things America does wrong, there is one thing that we do better than anyone else. We do this so well, that seeing the feeble attempts of others in this arena, is laughable. This was true over 100 years ago, it is true today, and 100 years from now, it will still be true. America entertains the world. Ask yourself, what is your favorite Japanese band? What is your favorite Russian movie? What is your favorite Bosnian video game? Right! I don’t know either.

While there are  some exceptions, American Movies are loved by the whole world. We have superior actors, superior special effects, and superior quality of sound and picture. Our movies are translated into many different languages on DVD or Blu-Ray discs for the benefit of the world. Billions of dollars a year are paid to see them. People who do not  speak english watch these movies where the dialogue track is replaced with one that is in their own language. That is almost unheard of in this country, because if you have ever watched a dubbed movie, then you know, it sucks. The reason other countries do this is because the only other alternative is to watch a poorly made sub-standard piece of sh#t excuse for a movie.

American Music is a global phenomenon. There are American bands that travel the world playing not only to large arenas, but stadiums, and outdoor venues where people numbering in excess of two hundred thousand show up to hear them play. These are non-English speaking countries. Most of these people cannot understand word of it, yet they show up in droves. I know of no artist that has come to this country and even come close to that level of success singing in a foreign language whether it be live, on the radio, or just record sales.

So, what does this have to do with our debt? Ok. Billions and billions of dollars are spent every year on TV’s, IPods, IPads, Stereos, Blu-Ray Players, computers, hard drives, jump drives, cell phones, and so on. These are the most in demand products on the globe right now, and NONE of them are made in America. That is OK. It makes no difference whether we make them or not. We do something far more important. What we do, is make those products worth owning.

I don’t want a TV, or a Blu-Ray player if all I can watch is a bunch of non-sense! I don’t want a kick-ass stereo system, or an IPod if all I have to listen to is a bunch of shitty music that I don’t like, and I don’t want a computer if I can’t be entertained by the music, TV, and movies made by the people in this country. Without American music and movies I wouldn’t  care about any of that stuff, and guess what, Neither would anyone else.

Even if we fold, we’re gold. We don’t really have to pay that money back. They won’t attack us or kill us or destroy this country; and do you know why? It’s for the same reason they allow us to run around the world enforcing our own morality. They all know that if America goes away, they will be bored for the rest of their lives.

So now you can relax. so you can  go out on your front porch, open a beer, and hoist your flag up just a little bit higher. You can be thankful that you live in the country, who gave you movies like Star Wars, The Princess Bride, The Lord of the Rings, and The Blues Brothers. Strip down to your underwear, and climb on to your roof and scream at the top of your lungs with pride, knowing that you are a citizen of the country who gave voice to bands like The Doors, Aerosmith, Mötley Crüe, Lynyrd Skynyrd, KISS, ZZTop, and Ted Nugent.

If the world is a fun place, it’s because The United States made it that way. I don’t mean to say that there are not other fine contributions by other countries. For the most part America reigns supreme, so don’t forget YOU ARE AN AMERICAN AND LIFE WITHOUT YOU IS NOT WORTH LIVING.

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome

  • lying-tom-nardone-maipulateYou can join the I Am Tom Nardone Facebook Group by clicking HERE. or ADHDpeople.net Here
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  • Or you could risk never hearing from me again and go through life without the benefit of my counsel, but what would be the
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