Be Interesting. It is Just a Matter of Common Courtesy

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What do these three quotes have in common?

  • “Another day another dollar”
  • “… time to make the doughnuts”
  • “It’s just another day in paradise”

As far as I can see, they all have two things in common; one, they are all tired clichés that I could go the rest of my life without hearing, and two, they are all said by assholes
Here is the problem as I see it. There are people in this country who hold their freedom of expression a little too close. They have nothing to say and they just can’t seem to just say… nothing. There are those who feel that they should be able to talk about anything they want to without the burden of being interesting.

One day when you find yourself getting to work. You will hit the time clock or sit down at yourPicture1 cubicle. Then suddenly, one of these clowns see you for the first time that day. Instead of starting your day with something funny that they read or saw on TV, they decide they are not going to make any effort at all. They just reach into their little bag of bullshit clichés and pull one out for you to come up with a response too.

This shit is not fair. This asshole made no effort, but that does not matter because a conversation, has been started. You are now expected to respond to this foolishness, and if you don’t respond, then society will deem you, the asshole. Society is wrong, and I am Tom Nardone.

**the following does not apply to close, personal, friends.***

Engaging someone in a conversation is a pretty big deal. You are pulling their attention away from whatever they might be doing. For the next few moments of their life, they are your hostage, if only mentally, by whatever it is, you feel, warrants their attention. If you throw something like, “Another day another dollar, right Tom?” You have robbed them of moments that you can never replace.

girls

It might not be clichés. It could just be something that nobody in the world gives a shit about but you. Don’t infect them with things such as how you were victorious this past weekend when you got together and played dungeons and dragons with your asshole friends. Don’t tell them how far you rode on your bike this weekend as you put thousands of driver’s lives at risk by riding your bike on the road for your own personal gain, and don’t tell them about a baseball game or the TV show “Duck Dynasty” They don’t give a shit. That is why we have Facebook.

Know your audience. If your audience is a guy who you know to be into hunting and fishing, then by all means, tell him that you got a twelve-pointed buck this weekend or a twenty-one pound bass. Maybe your audience is someone who likes to go out the local bar or dance club and dance, drink, and talk to strangers all night. You should feel free to explain how you woke up on the roof this morning wearing your mother’s underwear. If I happen to be your audience, you should tell me how much you enjoyed one of the articles you read on my website, or you should just leave me the hell alone. Because if you happen to be one of the people who need to hear this, then it is likely, the only thing I want to hear you talk about is me.

Timing is everything. When I get to work at 6:00am, that means I probably just woke up at 5:30am. I am in a very bad mood because I am not at my house, and it is early. Ask yourself this before speaking to me; “Is my name Jason Bennett?” if it is than say whatever you want because I love Jason Bennett. He is my best friend. If the answer is no, you should find some other asshole to peddle your bullshit to at 6 O’clock in the morning.

This is not some foolish rant, which nobody ever thought of before. We have seen the movie “Office Space” that stupid girl who said, “It sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays”

I don’t know where all these clichés come from, but many of them come from Hollywood, yes the sewer of the United States of America. TV and movies are a huge source. What better place is there for an asshole to find these gems of our vernacular?

  • Git’er done

You have to be shitting me. This is a deal-breaker. I don’t care who you are if you say “Git’er done” chances are that we are not friends. I don’t think I want to be friends with a person who has a friend that says “Git’er done”. Larry the Cable Guy, You can go straight to hell.

  • “Aul be back” (I’ll be back)

Thank God, you don’t hear this anymore. Arnold Schwarzenegger, before polluting the state of California, polluted the minds of douchebags across the our whole country. He used this line first in the “TheTerminator”, and then several movies after it. Then along came all the wannabe bad-asses saying it as if anyone gave a shit.

  • I’m the king of the world

“No you are not. You are a brick of shit”

Hollywood finds themselves hopelessly deadlocked in a slew of bad movie clichés. I have all but completely lost interest in the movies.

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome

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Help me. I can only spread so much bullshit by myself.
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38 Responses to Be Interesting. It is Just a Matter of Common Courtesy

  1. ksbeth says:

    ‘is my name jason bennett?’ please advise. nice post tomnardone )

  2. Margie says:

    I want to hear more about when you woke up on the roof wearing your mother’s underwear. People don’t just use that as an example, it must come from experience. 😉

  3. TIA says:

    I was just gonna say 6 of one, half dozen of another….just because I don’t ever get to use that phrase, and it seemed fitting here :)….is that too cliche, or just plain appropriate?

  4. Knowing your audience is one of the best pieces of advice ever. You nailed it. Cliches have their place in communications, rarely though are they useful.

    this was a great one Tom, you are Awesome.

  5. ‘The Burden Of Being Interesting’ would be a great book title. This could be your life story if you ever decide to write it.

  6. kr2309 says:

    This post brings up bad memories from college, when Dave Chappelle briefly ruled the airways. There were assholes galore constantly spouting off – “I’m Rick James, Bitch!”, “Fuck yo couch”, or any other, what USED to be, hilarious line from the show. It was the “I’ll be back” of its day. “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity” is another common phrase of the modern day asshole. Good post!

    • Tom Nardone says:

      Hey longface,
      It was good to hear from you. I remember this. I loved that show but it was unbearable listening to the wannabe parade. I loved your “modern day asshole” comment. Thanks man.

  7. Gray Dawster says:

    Tom
    As always you have given the shits of this world something to chew on, and if that is taken literally by them then I am certainly with you Tom Nardone as nobody can stand the average asshole for more than one cheesy cliché at a time. Another thing, why do those dumb looking assholes always say ‘Finger Licking Good’ just after taking a dump, or add ‘Have a Nice Day’ to someone that has just lost their job? It is enough to make an ape wonder, actually it is enough to make a Neanderthal wonder, being that the asshole that said it is busily scraping his knuckles on the sidewalk and jabbering ‘Bye, Love You’ while the next grubby asshole is answering ‘Love You More’ in that condescending, overconfident way that would make a hobo puke on last week’s lentils and rummy fig pizza, or give an astronaut the shits for a whole month on the same slops.

    Of course sometimes just a gauche stare will deter a boring quip engaging from the works number one asshole, but with the more stubborn cliché user it is predetermined and nothing short of a kick in the nether regions will stop their verbal diarrhoea once it has started running out of their asses, I mean running off their slimy tongues. Society got it wrong for sure, and Tom Nardone says ‘I Am Not Always Right, But I Am Never Wrong’ whenever there is a doubter, and you can take that to the bank 🙂 Oh no it’s another asshole cliché 😉 lmao

    Have a great rest of Friday Tom Nardone,
    oh and another thing… Your posting rocks 🙂

    Andro

    • Tom Nardone says:

      Andro thanks for your carefully constructed and well thought out reply. You had me laughing at work and I shared your rants with my coworkers. My good friend Barry from the UK was particularly entertained during our lunch break today. Thanks man you are the best.

  8. Gray Dawster says:

    I always crack up at your witty and incredibly entertaining postings, for instance, with your style of writing there is no mincing words and the finger is pointed straight at the offending asshole, which is a refreshing change I can tell you 🙂

    There are so many plus points with your blog but the uniqueness of your summing up is absolutely second to none and always gives me a giggle, indeed your humour rocks with every single twist and turn, thrilling every follower and passer-by from Cleveland to Miami through Portland and Ohio, now I am not so familiar with the geographic locations of these states as I just picked them at random, but the main thing to know here is that your Space has so many far reaching qualities that just picking out one or two is an injustice.

    So I am giving your Space a cool ten out of ten for wickedness, creativity, awesomeness and last but not least downright bloody brilliance. Keep up the excellent work Tom you’re a star 🙂

    Andro

  9. TIA says:

    Hey again! I nominated you for the family award! I appreciate our friendly banter, and love getting a good laugh reading your blog! 🙂

  10. portholio says:

    Nothing is more exhausting than being trapped with someone who feels the need to fill every peaceful, quiet moment with inane chit chat.

  11. Jade Reyner says:

    Took me a while to get to this one so I’m at the bottom of your fan list… but great fun! As always and no cliches ‘cos I can’t be bothered!

  12. Alison says:

    All true except I love Larry the cable guy.

  13. bossymoksie says:

    THANK YOU!
    So many great quotes in this one. Thank you for bringing people’s attention to this pressing issue. It was needed!

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