Randall Kennedy, I Am Here For You.

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By Tom Nardone

Let Me help you Randall

I received this comment today. I am not angry at Randall Kennedy. I think that Randall Kennedy simply needs my help. I don’t want to hurt him. I want to help him. The following is his comment to my article I wrote entitled“Telemarketers, I Am Begging You All. Come Back!!

Tom, I appreciate your narcissistic rants. Wow, blogs! What a wonderful medium for

The self-involved. What a fantastic catharsis for the guy with a decent verbal acumen

and an utter inability to do anything in life but be a complaining sheep. Go get ‘em Tom!

Why stop with telemarketers, Tom ? What about those low life people in the service

industry? Always expecting tips……. I gotta tip for ya, ” Don’t grow your corn in the winter.”

Bwaahaaahaa! Damn, maybe I can experience the bliss of people huddling over a

monitor and telling me how incredibly witty I am……..na I’m too busy living life. And

screwing with telemarketers, even in jest, is petty. Bet you aint doin the management

thing, are ya Tom? Lol

Randall, first of all, my wife loved your comment. You sound like an incredibly intelligent person. If you are serious about having your own blog, I would be happy to take you under my wing, and show you how to build an audience. There is nothing in the world like writing an incredibly funny position on something, and then come home and see how many people have determined that you are awesome.

Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t let the fact that you only have 3 followers on Photobucket deter you from greatness. OK so you tried to be relevant in the internet world, and you failed. Today will be a new day. Today I am offering my hand. Today I want you to make this a defining moment in your life. To prove my commitment to this belief, I have mapped out a blogger 3 steps to greatness Path. Just for you.

  1.  Follow my blog. First and foremost I need you to follow my blog. Just enter your email address above to the right and then click the button that says “BE AWESOME” Randall you are never going to be awesome until you surround yourself with awesomeness.
  2. Look & Listen. Randall you have to be aware at all times. Every time you go somewhere or do something you must at all times be aware; there is a blog inside you waiting to be written. Someone will be doing something remarkable somewhere that you can write about. Randall this will be new for you. Let me help you pull your head completely out of your ass. This is why you could not see, and this is why you could not hear. Master This!
  3.  Be and Recognize Awesomeness For this Randall, I want you to take a look at your life and completely re-evaluate it. I want you to realize that in the past nobody ever listened to you. The reason nobody ever listen to you was not because they were stupid or foolish. The reason is that you just had absolutely nothing, of worth, to say. I am committed to help you if you will commit to learn.

Sorry for the tough love Randall. I will admit I was for a moment I was impressed by your use of big words. I had to look one of them up. Being a blogger is about more than the words you use. It is about making those words hold the interest of your reader. You should consider your reader at all times while blogging. In this particular case Randall, you did not consider your reader.

I was your reader. You did not consider me, perhaps because you do not know me. If you knew me you would have realized a few things. You would have realized that this is a man who; killed his lawn so he would not have to cut it, a man who won’t recycle, won’t invest his money, doesn’t believe history, refuses to eat out, and recently sounded off with pride about the fact that he filed bankruptcy to eliminate his debt. Randall somehow you thought that person would give a shit about your opinion.

But Randall My blog did not start off Awesome. My blog grew to be awesome. It was made so by all of the people that I follow and those that read me and commented on my site. Even you Randall; you commented on my page, and this article would never have been written without your involvement. In a way this is the first meaningful writing that you have ever been a part of. In a way Randall, this is an article that we wrote together.

Well, that is what I have offered you. The question Randall is what are you going to do with it? Are you going to let it fall by the way side? Are you going to watch it fade away into nothingness? Are you going to sit around and stew about your 3 lousy followers on your failed Photobucket account?  or are you going to grab that bull by the short and curlies? That is my hope.

Randall I believe your destiny is that of a Fucking Titan of the blogging world. I will see you stand up and look millions in the eye as you tell them all “MY NAME IS RANDALL FUCKING KENNEDY AND I AM AWESOME!!!” You are going to eat mountains and drink rivers dry, and the sound of thunder will follow your footsteps.

Randall, I am willing to ask my followers to help you. I know they can. They have been a tremendous help to me. They love people. We all do, and Randall we all love you too. Randall I think I can speak for all of us when I tell you that you need to find love. The first person you need to love is yourself. You are not the guy that wrote those awful things.

Randall. You are a “somebody”. You are a beautiful person. There is an amazing human being that is a prisoner inside you.  Randall do the world a service, and let him out. damn it Randall I am dying to meet him. I know he is there Randall. Don’t let him die. Randall we are all Begging You don’t let him die.

Randall, release the beauty that lives within you. Must we all beg?

Help me. I can only spread so much bullshit by myself.
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23 Responses to Randall Kennedy, I Am Here For You.

  1. xtrememom says:

    Reading THAT was the best thing that happened to me all day. You tickle my funny bone, sir!

  2. kate tracton says:

    Somehow, I FEEL more awesome just having read that. Now, where’s that bull and his short and curlies?

  3. ksbeth says:

    First of all tomnardone, let me just say that kennedy is my last name and Randall is our family joke name for someone who has a minimum of one lightbulb burnt out on his neon sign, so just the name alone was exceptional even before I read anything. I believe that your response was stellar and I think you should begin a career as an anti-bullying speaker at elementary schools around the nation. Would Home Depot give you a paid sabbatical? Beth

    Sent from my iPad

  4. tanstaafl28 says:

    So touching, you reaching out with your awesomeness to a blog troll, whoring for negative attention…I almost hope Randall does agree to become your trusty side-kick. He might even learn something.

  5. }!{ says:

    Mr Nardone, I think you just elevated yourself from “Awesome”, to”AMAZING”!

  6. Trishpp says:

    Hi Tom, as always a great post. I am just getting going on letting myself be Awesome in my new blog. Just killing the last fears that my children will disown the real me.

    • Hey lady.

      I wondered where you were. Hope all is well. Hey I am excited for you about your new blog. I have no doubt that you will soon be putting the awe in awesome.

      I do appreciate the kind words you have had for me and if there is anything I can do to help you tech or otherwise you let me know.

      • Trishpp says:

        Down at the bottom of darkest Africa where your President has just paid $100 million to visit. I read all your posts while trying to be a “focused and productive ADDer”. Damn you are a good distraction.

        • WOW you just blew my mind. I never thought of self as a distraction. I have to say I really like the way that sounds out loud. There is a blog there somewhere.

        • Hey!!! I noticed I was getting traffic in Africa. Was that you? ohhh it was killing me my adhd posts were kicking ass down there and i could not imagine why.

          Trish i cant tell you how happy i am to know that was you. Thank you sooo much. I am in your debt.

          • Trishpp says:

            Yip I share most of your posts with our ADHD clients and friends. They “get you” and really enjoy them. Send cheques via carrier pigeon. Ha ha!

    • use an alias. hahaha they wont disown you.. silly girl

      • Trishpp says:

        Using an alias defeats the object of being the REAL AWESOME ME! But I am getting braver with old age.

  7. As you do, this was a spectacular response. Your awesomeness shines as a bright beacon. You respond so well you might have even turned a troll into a side-kick. Good job.

  8. Ali says:

    Tom Nardone is my cousin and I am proud

  9. Gray Dawster says:

    It seems like a war zone in here today Tom Nardone and here is moi figuring that you were as gentle as a virgins… Well being that you are awesome, wicked, freakin’ downright amazing and ridiculously famous I guess it is all water off a duck’s back to you, I mean if we cannot have a joke without the toys leaving the pram all the time then we need to get a grip don’t you think? 🙂

    How do you mean what the hell am I talking about? No bleeding idea, but I certainly enjoyed reading your posting this morning and indeed all the colourful exchanges that have been offered surrounding it here too 🙂

    Have a fun Hump Day Tom and keep that
    genuineness alive and kicking, your blog rocks 🙂

    Andro

  10. Kathy says:

    Wow! Much drama! I.