With friends like these, I have no enemies

trtrtr

By Tom Nardone

I have been fortunate over the last two years to have made a lot of friends. There are a lot of people who have a tough time making friends and I can relate to that. I don’t have much of a problem with it these days but to be honest with you, having a lot of friends is not always as great as you might think.

There is a lot expected of you as a friend. I would urge you to be careful, and to avoid being too many people’s best friend.

Yes I know; it is a highly coveted position “The Best Friend” I will tell you why that is not something to aspire to without moderation. I will ask you. Do you know what is expected of “The Best Friend”? Everything is expected of the best friend. You are either the first or last person they go to with the worst things in their life that they think must be done. This can be a burden that maybe you will not be prepared for. Certainly I don’t mean that you would not want to be there for any friend who has lost someone dear to them or to help them in a time of need. I am talking about stuff you don’t care about.

How about moving day? Yes Moving day. The very words sometimes cause me to drop a nut. Yes when a person decides to move, they make no bones about the fact that they are disrupting our lives, simply by telling us that they are moving.

truck

So they get a nice new home, and you and I get a large order of guilt and a side order of anxiety. They even go as far as to say it will be FUN!!

“Yah guys we will just be hanging out and drinking some beers, and having some laughs it will go quick.” They will sometimes say “There is really nothing that heavy”. They would have you believe that their furniture is made out of balsa wood. OK liars, the truth is that is not going to be a lot of laughs. It is going to be a pains-taking endurance test, and the whole time we are there we are going to be asking ourselves; is this guy’s friendship really worth this? Could I have not come up with an excuse to avoid this? HOWEVER, this is not a question that you will ask yourself,…. best friend.

The best friend will without a doubt be there on moving day. He or she will not be afforded the luxury of having more pressing matters. As the best friend you know all too well that if no one shows that this person will be moping around for weeks and they will be able to say “Even my best friend did not come help me”. They will of course say this to their best friend. Yes you will also have to hear about it, and as a human being you cannot allow that. You must, and you will endure. It is your lot for this awful day. This is the job of the best friend.

Our friends choose all kinds of ways to disrupt our lives. Maybe you have experienced this. Your friend has been dating someone for three years. When you are least expecting it, they announce that one day very soon in your life; you are going to make them the focal point of it for an entire damn day. Do not make any plans because by God you will be there at their disposal, on that magical day when they get married.

Picture4

One thing about a friend getting married is that you are not going to get out of it. Other than them calling it off or eloping you are going to be there unless you have a car crash on the way to the church and what are the odds that will happen?

Guys this is just a one day ordeal for you, but women, you have my sympathy. This woman who is getting married is going to make your life a living hell. She won’t want to make a single wrong decision. So she will appoint “guess who?” as her bride’s maid. Yes, she will choose the Best Friend. They get to be involved in this process every step of the way. I have only one word of advice to any of you ladies who are asked to be bride’s maids. If you hear the word elope come out of her mouth, Carpe diem baby. Save everyone for you may never again get a chance like this to be a hero to so many.

This Last thing can be a never-ending death that you may have to survive only to repeat again. If you have a lot of friends there is one thing you better not own. If you find yourself suddenly becoming Mr. or Mrs. Popularity, and your friends are growing beyond a reasonable rate of speed, you better get on Craig’s list as fast as you can, and sell that pickup truck to the first person who is physically able to write a check.pickup

You are going to be hauling everything everywhere. You will hate tax refund season, because that is when people by things like furniture, TV’s, Refrigerators, ovens, ranges, and other things in large heavy boxes. You are going to haul the stuff. My advice to you; if you have to have a pickup truck put it in the shop in February, and don’t take it out until May.

I am proud to say that there is a group of close knit friends where NONE of this ever comes to pass. This is a group of close friends that would never expect any of these things of one another. These are the many and the proud; “The Bloggers”. This is a group that absolutely has something that prevents any of this tension from ever coming between them. They have the only thing would prevent a life of unsolicited misery. That is geography; we are simply too far apart geographically speaking.

Blog buddies are the top shelf, the Cadillac, the crème of the crop, the best of the best, when it comes to friends. I do love these people, but I love everyone who takes time out of their lives to be a part of mine.

I have some really great and amazing friends here in South Carolina. I would and I have helped them move. I have hauled their stuff and their garbage, and I was prould to see them get married. I am a good friend to the people here that I love. I will always be there for them.

Here in SC I have what I like to call a manageable number of friends.

I will bet you if Valentine Logar bought a new house, she might call upon friends to help her. I love Val and I would do anything for her, but I am all the way in South Carolina. It wouldn’t even make sense to call me. It would not occur to her to ask me. I love Val enough to help her move, but it is never going to happen.

Jade Reyner might get an entire brand new kitchen, complete with cabinets and appliances, and a giant sofa for her living room. Even though I drive a pick-up truck she is not going to call me. She is too good a friend to expect me to drive across the ocean to the UK in my pickup truck, just to help her het her kitchen delivered.

Wow! I couldn’t wait to do this one. If Essa Alroc were to get married she might very well invite me to the wedding, but under the circumstances given our “Geography” she would never expect me to show. She would certainly understand if I couldn’t make it. I don’t think I would miss that one for the world though.

My point to all this is that being a friend is not just a title. It is a responsibility. As much as I hate to admit this, my life would be empty without responsibility. Responsibility is that which gives us a purpose.

I have friends that I would give everything for. Sometimes you get a chance to be the person who they need when they need them. This is never easy, but it is a rare and beautiful thing. I don’t think I want to live in a world without them; they will certainly never live in a world without me.

Thank You friends for a great year at I am Tom Nardone

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.

Help me. I can only spread so much bullshit by myself.
Share on Facebook4Tweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+0Pin on Pinterest0Share on Tumblr0Share on LinkedIn0Email this to someone
Tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to With friends like these, I have no enemies

  1. Cristina says:

    Cute post, Tom!! I am of the same thought… too many close friends are exhausting and feel like work most times (especially those who are needy or clingy). But I would do anything for the few close friends I do have.

  2. what a great, funny post! I love it.

    Oh, Val, she would def. get lots of help!

  3. ksbeth says:

    Always buy a one bedroom house and no couch or futon when living in a cool place. Your friendships with of towners will be much better preserved. Blog friends are safe and easy and never asknyounto watch their cat when they are gone for 6 months .

  4. You are hysterical, I love you also. Here is the thing, I like my friends enough to never burden them with inane bullshite. Never!

    When I move, I make my employer pay. This has worked out really well for me over the last twenty years, having moved 7 times. Not one time have I ever broken a sweat or a nail. Not once have I ever asked a friend to assist. Though I have demanded my grown azzed sons to come help move boxes and furniture into other rooms after the fact, that is their job.

    When I got married I did it over a weekend in Vegas. My friends were already there, it was the weekend we usually meet in Vegas to gamble so it was convienient. I would never put my friends through ridiculous wedding froufrou nonsense otherwise.

    When my friend of 40 years got married, I stayed in Singapore and talked her through it until the day before her wedding. My gift? I flew in as a surprise! No question she couldn’t ask me to participate in any other way. HaHa

    Sometimes best friends have your back Tom. Sometimes we are actually grown ups.

    Moving? That is what all those guys at Home Depot are for, they are just waiting for someone to come along and offer them day work. Weddings, bah keep the money elope, if you are a best friend you should be talking fast.

    This was great! You did excellent.

    • Thanks so much Val. I was waiting for you to catch the mention of your name. that is why I didn’t do the pingback. I thought I would surprise you with that. I hope you were. I am glad you enjoyed this.

      I almost stuck this in the draft bin and did not publish it. The ones I think wont do so well are loved and the ones I get most excited about. ehhhhh not so much

      I am done trying to figure people out. They are too complicated. I was happy to see the inner chick read this. You have always spoken so highly of her. Thanks again Val.

  5. jadereyner says:

    Ha ha, nice one! And how do you know I won’t start making demands on you…? I may have just been drawing you in all of this time, lulling you into a false sense of security, pretending that I am a lady…. and then when I have you under my spell …. BAM! Watch out Tom Nardone, that’s all I can say…..:-)

  6. Gray Dawster says:

    Yes, it’s remarkable just how good a friend I always am when something needs shifting, or doing or… well yes you have hit the nail right on the head there Tom, bloody Nora do we need to be so good friends, I know it isn’t always so dreary but come on now, get with the programme and stopm asking me to do everything all of the time 🙂 lmao

    I mean with friends like that WHO needs enemies? This is a great posting with so many truths within the lines, I just hope that none of my best friends read my comment or when it is my turn to ask there will be nobody there to help, hmm… Isn’t that always how it happens? 🙁 lol

    Have a brilliant weekend Tom, hope
    it’s not another removals job though 🙁

    Andro

  7. bossymoksie says:

    YES! The worse part of being someone’s best friend spelled out in one place. Brilliant.

This is where your comments go