Two Weeks Notice? HELL NO!

Two Weeks Notice ? HELL NO!! 


Tom-nardone-two-weeks-notice-1-free-clipartWe have all heard of the two weeks notice. There is an idea in this country that when you decide to leave a job, “The right thing to do” is to notify your current employer with a two weeks notice in advance. Of course we all understand that you are vital to your company’s future. If you were you to leave suddenly, things would be difficult for them. How difficult would they be? Imagine…. if you were to leave your job.Tom-nardone-two-weeks-notice-2-free-clipart

Do this for me. Close your eyes…wait, wait, wait. Don’t close your eyes. I forgot you were reading. Just ask yourself which of the following two scenarios sound the most reasonable, and be honest, I would ask that you take this seriously.

Dissatisfied with your current job, you have finally found another one. They needed you to start immediately. Realizing that you cannot give a two weeks notice, you enter your current boss’s office and tell him you are leaving.

Upon your letting your employer know you are leaving, a chaotic whirlwind, capable of ripping your companies heart and soul begins. It takes over and aims to destroy the very spirit of their core values. Black clouds roll in with no regard for the tears being shed by every member of the board of directors. This ungodly terror rips in, and pierces the very walls of the cooperate fat cat’s’ over-furnished, cigar smelling offices. They tremble  in the wake of a colossal Shit-storm.  No amount of money, no attorney, and no sacrifice; blood or otherwise, can appease the cooperate gods or satisfy their hunger. Everyone (except you) will go swirling down a financial vortex of whatever might be left of what was once a mighty corporate powerhouse.

Inevitably, this company, in the span of 24 hours, has perished. Hopes are gone. Dreams are lost. A staple in our economy is dead.

Tom-nardone-two-weeks-notice-3-free-clipart

but don’t you worry. You’re gonna be OK.

You could have prevented this, yes you could have saved everyone. You could have circumvented all this suffering. You neglected to do the only thing that could have saved this multi-million dollar corporation, and you withheld it. My my my, you could have given a two weeks notice. I hope you remember this one day on your way to HELL!!!!!

orthe Two weeks notice scenario

You enter your boss’s office and tell him you are leaving, and less than a week later, The company you once believed only floated as a result of your efforts is doing just fine without you.  It would be just as if you were never there. You will be a memory, and nothing more.

Tom-nardone-two-weeks-notice-6-free-clipartI know a lot of you would like to think that option A best describes your situation. Maybe it does, but I don’t believe most of us can make that claim.

Leaving a two weeks notice is all well and good for them. Doing that does not seem to serve me in any way, and of course in the end, it is all about me, and it’s all about you.

I have quit a lot of jobs. Some jobs I have left two weeks notice and some I have not. If I am not needed right away I am happy to leave a two weeks notice. If I am needed right away, then my current employer can go hump a stump.

I have also been fired from a lot of jobs. I don’t understand why the employees of America are held to a higher standard of ethics than that of “Corporate America”. In all the times that I have been fired no one ever came over and said “Hey Tom there is not a problem here today, but two weeks from today,  you can consider yourself shit-canned.”

No. It never did happen that way. It was always one of two ways;

It was either “Hey Tom, listen man, I am sorry to tell you this, but we have not been getting as many orders as we counted on so we just aren’t going to be able to keep you on the payroll. I really am sorry. You did a good job and we will call you if we need you back, but we have to let you go.”or they would just say  “TOM, GET YOUR SHIT, AND GET THE F%#@ OUT OF MY BUILDING! RIGHT NOW YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!!!!”  (true story)

When you get fired you have no income, no insurance, no security, no peace of mind, and no idea what you are going to do. And men, you know this if you weren’t already thinking it. You are not getting laid either. Just forget about that. Your wife is going to do nothing but talk and ask questions every waking moment of every day until you get shit back in order.(apparently that is our duty)

What I am saying is if you can leave a two weeks notice, and you want to leave a two weeks notice, do it. If you don’t want to leave a two weeks notice, than you should feel free to leave them high and dry, the same way, they would leave you, and have left me. If you feel guilty then justify it on my behalf. You look them right in the eye and you say. “I quit damn it and you can consider my departure on equal footing with the middle finger of Tom Nardone, sticking in you face.” Feel free to use me to appease your guilty conscience.

Maybe a compromise is best. Call them on the phone and say ”Hello this is Tom Nardone. I’m calling to leave you my two weeks notice.

Yah, I want you to Notice that even though you keep putting my name on the schedule, I won’t be coming in to work.”

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.

  • tom-nardone-public-restrooms--free-clipartYou can join the I Am Tom Nardone Facebook Group by clicking HERE. or ADHDpeople.net Here
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America is Debt Free (Or at least as good as)

 

Screw’em all, We are not paying shit!!


People are worried about the national debt. I can understand their fears and I do not wish to make light of them. I would however like to suppress those fears by letting you know that there is nothing to worry about, because we will never have to pay that debt.

Let me first say for the record that I love my country. I am not Anti-American, nor am I a loud flag waving patriot. While there are a lot of things America does wrong, there is one thing that we do better than anyone else. We do this so well, that seeing the feeble attempts of others in this arena, is laughable. This was true over 100 years ago, it is true today, and 100 years from now, it will still be true. America entertains the world. Ask yourself, what is your favorite Japanese band? What is your favorite Russian movie? What is your favorite Bosnian video game? Right! I don’t know either.

While there are  some exceptions, American Movies are loved by the whole world. We have superior actors, superior special effects, and superior quality of sound and picture. Our movies are translated into many different languages on DVD or Blu-Ray discs for the benefit of the world. Billions of dollars a year are paid to see them. People who do not  speak english watch these movies where the dialogue track is replaced with one that is in their own language. That is almost unheard of in this country, because if you have ever watched a dubbed movie, then you know, it sucks. The reason other countries do this is because the only other alternative is to watch a poorly made sub-standard piece of sh#t excuse for a movie.

American Music is a global phenomenon. There are American bands that travel the world playing not only to large arenas, but stadiums, and outdoor venues where people numbering in excess of two hundred thousand show up to hear them play. These are non-English speaking countries. Most of these people cannot understand word of it, yet they show up in droves. I know of no artist that has come to this country and even come close to that level of success singing in a foreign language whether it be live, on the radio, or just record sales.

So, what does this have to do with our debt? Ok. Billions and billions of dollars are spent every year on TV’s, IPods, IPads, Stereos, Blu-Ray Players, computers, hard drives, jump drives, cell phones, and so on. These are the most in demand products on the globe right now, and NONE of them are made in America. That is OK. It makes no difference whether we make them or not. We do something far more important. What we do, is make those products worth owning.

I don’t want a TV, or a Blu-Ray player if all I can watch is a bunch of non-sense! I don’t want a kick-ass stereo system, or an IPod if all I have to listen to is a bunch of shitty music that I don’t like, and I don’t want a computer if I can’t be entertained by the music, TV, and movies made by the people in this country. Without American music and movies I wouldn’t  care about any of that stuff, and guess what, Neither would anyone else.

Even if we fold, we’re gold. We don’t really have to pay that money back. They won’t attack us or kill us or destroy this country; and do you know why? It’s for the same reason they allow us to run around the world enforcing our own morality. They all know that if America goes away, they will be bored for the rest of their lives.

So now you can relax. so you can  go out on your front porch, open a beer, and hoist your flag up just a little bit higher. You can be thankful that you live in the country, who gave you movies like Star Wars, The Princess Bride, The Lord of the Rings, and The Blues Brothers. Strip down to your underwear, and climb on to your roof and scream at the top of your lungs with pride, knowing that you are a citizen of the country who gave voice to bands like The Doors, Aerosmith, Mötley Crüe, Lynyrd Skynyrd, KISS, ZZTop, and Ted Nugent.

If the world is a fun place, it’s because The United States made it that way. I don’t mean to say that there are not other fine contributions by other countries. For the most part America reigns supreme, so don’t forget YOU ARE AN AMERICAN AND LIFE WITHOUT YOU IS NOT WORTH LIVING.

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome

  • lying-tom-nardone-maipulateYou can join the I Am Tom Nardone Facebook Group by clicking HERE. or ADHDpeople.net Here
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Public Restrooms- | – Are you shitting me?

Nobody Does This, and I mean Nobody!!


free-clipart-public-restrooms-tom-nardoneYesterday, at work,  I had to use the public restrooms as I always do when nature calls. As I was entering, the janitor was leaving, so I had a clean fresh smelling bathroom all to myself. This doesn’t happen too often. It was as if all the previous days filth had been eliminated just for my own personal comfort. It was looking like the beginning of a wonderful day.

I don’t ever enjoy using public restrooms, but his time looked to be different. I entered the stall furthest from the door. I smiled to myself as I placed a paper-ass-gasket on the seat. I sat down, and prepared for what I knew would be a very enjoyable experience. But then it happened. My bowel bliss came to halt when someone else entered the bathroom. I hoped his stay would be only a brief moment standing in front of the urinal. I thought, surely this man was not going to undermine, what has so far been, a perfect moment in my life. I could not have been more wrong.

I was in stall number four(See figure A), and this asshole came in, and chose to sit in stall number not one, not two, but stall number three. Yes he decided that we would be neighbors. Who does that? If I walk into any room and I have a choice to sit next to a man shitting or not to sit next to a man shitting, I will always choose the latter. Everybody would, but not this man. He sat down and began what I can only describe as a “Growler”. The smell was like a punch in the face. I thought he had eaten a dead person it was so bad. He of course made all the awful sounds….you get the picture. Then his cell phone rang, and of course, he took the call. This man represents all that we hate about public restrooms.

“Hello”

“No not yet, I just sat down to take a dump”

“OK, OK, OK”

“I love you too honey, bye bye”

Nice dude. There is not a more attractive thing to a woman than to explain to her what you’re doing in the bathroom. Why didn’t you take the time to give her a live play-by-play commentary?

The Public Restrooms, There Are Rules

free-clipart-public-restrooms-tom-nardone-2

Here are the rules for  public restrooms, in case you are one of these clowns. This applies to urinals as well. If you need further training please click here to be directed to “Urinal Test” at drinknation.com. (Refer to figure A).

  • If the public restrooms stalls are empty, you always choose one 1 or 4, that way if someone comes in they will be able to choose a stall that puts two spaces between you, and it ensures that worse case if the bathroom fills up you are only sitting by one person.
  •  If 1 and 3 are taken you choose 4 that means you can sit by only one person rather than between two people.
  • If 1 and 4 are taken it’s a crap shoot.

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome

    • free-clipart-public-restrooms-tom-nardone-3You can join the I Am Tom Nardone Facebook Group by clicking HERE. or ADHDpeople.net Here
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    • Or you could risk never hearing from me again and go through life without the benefit of my counsel, but what would be the
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The worst Job I Ever Had

Living a lie for four months, It’s harder than you might think.


tom1

This was a long time ago, and I can’t say it was my finest hour. I have to admit that thinking back on it, I am rather ashamed that I basically screwed over the company I worked for, but at the time, it did not seem so wrong.

Years ago I was a salesman. I sold everything from satellite dishes to mobile homes, computers, and alarm systems. I worked briefly for a company called BTI, and It is this job for which this article was written. I can’t even remember what BTI stands for. What I can remember about BTI is that it was a GRIND. My job entailed going door to door to businesses and asking them if they wanted to switch over to BTI and let BTI handle all of their long distance, and data services. (It genuinely embarrasses me to admit that.)

It was almost a week, and then finally, I got an appointment. I couldn’t believe it. I was so excited. As I got off the phone, my boss walked into the office from lunch. I couldn’t wait to tell him so I said “Hey Bob. I just got an appointment” his response was “Well it’s about damn time. That’s what you are supposed to do.” I couldn’t believe he said that. I thought Screw you bob. It was at that moment that I knew my days were numbered there. The next day after the morning meeting, I was going out to my car to do some more cold-calling. I noticed one of the other salesmen in the parking lot changing his clothes in his car. I walked over and asked him what he was doing. He explained to me that he was doing what he does every morning. He was going to his real job. I later found out that 2 other salesmen were doing the same thing.

The way it worked at BTI was they paid you 1500 dollars a month for your first 6 months. After that, your commissions from sales took over. I found out that nobody had posted any sales there, and obviously none of the salesmen had been there longer than 6 months. Later that day it was time for me to go to my appointment. Bob and Terry insisted that they go with me. It was a disaster. They talked the whole time barely letting the client speak and needless to say we walked out without the sale. They both spent the whole ride back to the office blaming me for the whole thing. It was at that moment that my daily routine would change dramatically.

Now this is how I would spend my day:

7:30am – Put on my suit and leave the house.

8:00am – Attend morning meeting

8:30am – Find some office park close by and write down the names of 30 to 35 business names and then make up 30 to 35 first and last names or contacts that I presumably spoke to.

9:30am – Go home and sleep for 6 or 7 hours

4:30pm – wake up and put on my suit. (Sometimes, if I felt I didn’t get enough sleep, I would call the office and say I was in a hot area and I wanted to get some extra calls in for the day)

5:00pm – Attend afternoon meeting. (I would pull out my list of contacts for bob or terry to take and glance at so they could see how hard I had worked all day. The important thing here was to appear very enthusiastic about at least one of the people that I did not really speak to as a future client of BTI.)

6:00pm – End of a grueling work day. Then it was time to go home, see the wife, and maybe watch some TV. (I would generally stay up all night playing games on my computer, or cruising the internet until around 7:30am when I would begin my work day.)

I did this for about four and a half months. At some point I decided that my time during the day would need to be used to find a real job. I eventually did and I never even went back to BTI. I just sort of stopped showing up for work. They called the house and my wife (at the time) told them that I started my new job today. They were nice enough to mail me my final paycheck.

I am Tom Nardone and you are welcome

  • lying-tom-nardone-maipulateYou can join the I Am Tom Nardone Facebook Group by clicking HERE. or ADHDpeople.net Here
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  • Or you could risk never hearing from me again and go through life without the benefit of my counsel, but what would be the
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