I am really scared. I do have a great family who loves me and a superb network of friends. My fear stems from losing my words. My words are the very thing that elevated me from the person i once was and ever wish to be again, to the person everyone knows me as today.
It was my words i used in my blog that put me on the map in the ADHD community. It was my words i used to tell my story about growing up adhd and connected with so many of you. It is my words i use every day at home depot to tell and to teach others how to solve there problems in their homes. I believe i would rather lose my site than the ability to speak, This is what i am most afraid of.
Yesterday while peeing i had this overwhelming guilt about not getting anything done. I felt guilt about the condition of my room and about the condition of the house.
As I finished peeing I felt a strange throbbing at my upper gums and the right side of my head. I remarked out loud to myself “What the hell is going on here” only those were not the words that came out. I was scary knowing what I wanted to say but not having the ability to say them. I had some difficulty breathing and i got really scared. I thought about all the people i need to say things to and how awful it would be to be trapped in my own body without the ability to tell people of my appreciation for having read my book or my blog.
I thought about all the people who needed me to tell them how to fix their homes. People who depended on me to tell them how to fix the things in there house.
The truth is I believe Iam Tom Nardone because of my words and my ability to use them when they are needed or wanted. I think about the person I am without them and wonder how will i manage.
Over the last 5 years I have amassed many followers and I truly love each and every one of you. One of which who comes to mind is Cassandra Hovi . she is not a master of the english language and I depend on google translate to correspond with her in sweden. She is very important to me just like all of you..
Whatever it takes to get better I will do and Yvonne will make sure of that. I don’t believe this is the end but the beginning. Perhaps i will do as many do and find some new lease on life. Perhaps i will be more open to things i was once closed, or perhaps I will care more about things i once dismissed.
I don’t generally like change but perhaps it is time to re-invent myself and examine what is my purpose for being here. Entertainment has always been the purpose of my being but maybe there is something else I want to do. I don’t know but i am excited to explore these things. I will be back. don’t worry. I have manny more things to say. I am still in love with the sound of my own voice and plan to use it as long as i can
Thank you to everyone who has commented on my initial post last night. I cannot bring myself to read them yet. I will when I can and i will answer them all.
I love and cherish everyone of ou from the bottom of my heart and soul. I will keep you posted. Perhaps tonight on a Zoom meeting.
Im Tom Nardone and Your Welcome.